Friend

I have a friend who I'll call Preety.  I've known Preety for a long time and I've always felt she's a special person.  Well, I found out today she's going through hard times with her marriage.  Her husband doesn't want to try to make things better, but she is still fighting to hang on.  And to add to the tangle, baby #2 is in the "oven".

She loves her son, and she loves her husband.  And she is saddened by the state of things.  She keeps saying "if only I can do the right thing, then everything will be all right."  But she doesn't see that she is only 1/2 the partnership and it is not her job to do everything.  When two people agree to meet somewhere, they both have to come forward towards the middle.  One person can make all the effort and go as far as he/she can, but if the other person doesn't budge, then the meeting won't ever happen.

I'm saddened by her sadness.  And at the same time, thinking about her situation makes me appreciate what I have.  Tim is a good husband and he *does* want to work the kinks out.  Our values and world-view pretty much align.  It's a good marriage by all measures and I do take things for granted sometimes.

I am sad for my friend; I hope she comes to peace with her husband and herself.